


I'll wait aka The painful life of Bellamy Blake

by the_100_bellarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, Bellarke fandom - Freeform, Blood must have blood pt 2, F/M, The 100 - Freeform, post 2x16, the 100 season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 08:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10082351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_100_bellarke/pseuds/the_100_bellarke
Summary: Thinking about how he wasn’t worthy of Gina made him hurt. But thinking about Clarke always felt like a near-death experience.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I chose not to use warnings, but it may be a bit scary at first.  
> To not spoil anything, I'll just say that I could never kill my OTP.

* * *

I'll Wait

 

Through the clouds of ash and smoke he saw her figure emerge before him. He immediately stood up, all the weakness and pain insignificant in this moment. He wanted to run towards her to take her into his arms, but what he saw then made him freeze.

Emerson was holding Clarke from behind, a knife to her throat. His eyes glinted with anger.

Bellamy heard words coming out of his own mouth. "You don't want to do this."

But all he got in response was a wild, cold look from the last Mountain Man.

Yet a lot more horrifying view was the tears of fear streaming down Clarke's face. The blade slowly cut into her skin.

Bellamy could feel panic trying to take over his mind.

"Please," he continued as he moved forward, his hands stretched before him. "It doesn't have to be like this."

His whole body was trembling but he knew he had to be strong. He maintained eye contact with Emerson.

But the man had nothing more to lose. So he grabbed Clarke tighter and slit the whole length of her throat.

She let out a voiceless scream and slumped to the ground. Her glassy eyes stilled, gaze wandering off into the distance.

Bellamy could not move or take his eyes off Clarke's lifeless body. Everything else faded, making the moment feel so surreal. He fell to his knees, landing in a pool of blood. His vision blurred with the pain blowing out of him. The sound of his screams shuddered the sky.

"Nooooo! Nooo! No, no, no, Clarke!"

 

* * *

 

 "Bell? Bellamy...!"

"No, Clarke!!"

"Bellamy, wake up! Bellamy!"

He snapped out of it, his whole body shaking, almost jumping on the bed. Cold sweat covered him, making his black curls stick to his forehead and neck.

The room was dark and the sky was clouded, leaving no source of light.

"It was just a dream. Just a bad dream." The voice that guided him out of this nightmare and the one he could hear right now...Gina.

She was sitting by his bed, gently caressing him, her hand tangled in his hair. She reached for a cup and handed it to him. "Here, drink, it'll calm you."

"Thank you." He took a sip of what seemed to be a herbal tea."I...The dream..."

"I know." Gina interrupted him. "We don't need to talk about it."

"I'm sorry. "

"Shhh...Go back to sleep now."

"I think I'll go for a walk." The thought of going back to a universe where Clarke died sent shivers down his back.

He turned to Gina with a weak smile on his face, squeezed her hand and walked to the door.

"Wear something warm. You had a fever; the last thing you need right now is to catch a flu." Gina seemed calm, but did not look in his direction.

He stood there for a moment, looking for words to assure her it's not what she thought, but there weren’t any. So he grabbed his guard jacket and walked out into the dark.

 

* * *

 

Arkadia was unrecognizable during the night. That's why most of the time Bellamy chose his watches to be in the dark.

That, but also because he couldn't deal with Gina being so good to him.  
Even when he dreamed about another woman, even when she knew he was unable to love her.  
He didn't deserve her kindness. And she deserved better.

During the day it was deliberately easy to avoid her, with work keeping him busy. But nights left him nowhere to run.

So Gina heard his screams, his whispers, all of them voicing a name that wasn’t hers . Yet every time he woke up, she was there, taking care of his shaken heart with love and kindness.

Thinking about how he wasn’t worthy of Gina made him hurt. But thinking about Clarke always felt like a near-death experience.

Sometimes Bellamy wandered off when no one was watching, trying to find any trace of her. He'd been to the bunker where their friendship truly began. He'd been under the tree, where months ago he felt like he could leave everything and just run away with her. Back then it was rushed and stupid. Right now he would give anything to be where she was.

Bellamy looked up. Dawn was unclouding the sky; he must've been walking around the camp for a few hours now.

He stopped by the gate and stared into the horizon.

By now, he realized that Clarke wouldn't be found until she wanted to. And as unlikely as it sounded, he hoped that she'd eventually turn up in front of Arkadia.

So every damn day, right as the sun rose, he came to the same place and just waited. And his heart broke every time she didn’t appear.

Standing there right now, he realized one very important thing. It's love that gave him hope. And as long as he loved Clarke, he was going to wait for her to come back home. To him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! At least as much as you can enjoy hurt!Bellamy...
> 
> If you could spare two seconds to leave kudos or 30 seconds to leave a comment, you would make my day! Thank you! :)


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